One fine morning, I got out of my car and started heading to college. On my way to the lecture hall, I realized that I had forgotten my pencil case. 'Dang it, I'll have to borrow from my friends.' I let out a sigh, because I hate having to use other people's stuff, I'm only comfortable with my own pens.
Luckily, I didn't have to write much, but it was still a day full of discomfort and suffering.
After having reached home, while I was taking my lunchbox and my bottle out of my backpack, I found it. My pencil case was peacefully lying in my bag, looking as innocent as a baby, while I looked at it with a blaming and infuriated expression. It lied to me! It made me think that it wasn't there while it was, the whole time!
Wait...
Why?
Why did I even think that I had left it out of my bag before leaving? And why did I not question that thought, not even for a fraction of a second? Why did I not, at least, try to check my bag? I did open my bag a lot of times during the day!
I felt used, controlled, but I didn't know who/what to blame.
One fine evening, more than 6 years ago, I received a wristwatch from my sister. I thought, 'It's very small and has a feminine aura... Meh. Oh, wait, it also needs batteries! I don't like it.'
To the drawer it went, and in the drawer it remained.
I felt used, controlled, but I didn't know who/what to blame.
One fine evening, more than 6 years ago, I received a wristwatch from my sister. I thought, 'It's very small and has a feminine aura... Meh. Oh, wait, it also needs batteries! I don't like it.'
To the drawer it went, and in the drawer it remained.
A few days ago, it came to my mind. I took it out of the drawer and tried it on. 'Wow, it actually looks nice!'
I guess my taste has changed. I went to my mom and she agreed that it looks nice, I told her that it needs batteries, so she told me where I could get them.
On Saturday, while I was about to head out, I took off the wristwatch that I usually wear and wore the small one instead, so I'd remember to get batteries for it.
I kept checking the watch every 10 or so minutes during the first lecture, forgetting that it's not working. After more than an hour has passed, I looked at the girl next to me and asked her what time it was, so she showed me her phone. I was too lazy to get my phone out of my bag. It was around 9:30 AM. The next thing I did is that I checked the watch, for no particular reason. The time was totally off, of course. But I kept looking at it (we're talking 2 or 3 seconds here), and the damn second hand was moving! The watch was working! It didn't need batteries! It has been working for more than 6 years, in the drawer!
On Saturday, while I was about to head out, I took off the wristwatch that I usually wear and wore the small one instead, so I'd remember to get batteries for it.
I kept checking the watch every 10 or so minutes during the first lecture, forgetting that it's not working. After more than an hour has passed, I looked at the girl next to me and asked her what time it was, so she showed me her phone. I was too lazy to get my phone out of my bag. It was around 9:30 AM. The next thing I did is that I checked the watch, for no particular reason. The time was totally off, of course. But I kept looking at it (we're talking 2 or 3 seconds here), and the damn second hand was moving! The watch was working! It didn't need batteries! It has been working for more than 6 years, in the drawer!
I was surprised, sure, but mostly, I was pretty angry at myself.
Why?
How many times did something like this happen to me?
How many times did I NOT discover the actual truth and remained under the roof of my unconscious assumption?
How many times did I NOT discover the actual truth and remained under the roof of my unconscious assumption?
Why does my mind do this?
It's so scary. You just have this assumption or thought, and you believe in it. Even when you try to check its eligibility, you check without checking! You check, not to really check, but to assure yourself that your assumption is correct. So you end up seeing what you think. And you do all of this, without even knowing it!
It's so scary. You just have this assumption or thought, and you believe in it. Even when you try to check its eligibility, you check without checking! You check, not to really check, but to assure yourself that your assumption is correct. So you end up seeing what you think. And you do all of this, without even knowing it!
How do I know that whatever it is that I'm seeing is what's actually there? How can I ever be sure of anything now?
I say this, and deep inside I know that things like that will happen again and again and again, because I have a snobby little mind that takes full control over everything.
Horrifying.
I say this, and deep inside I know that things like that will happen again and again and again, because I have a snobby little mind that takes full control over everything.
Horrifying.
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